Trust ain’t shit to just give, so love ain’t easy to just get. Therefore to win my love, you have to win my trust, but even if it’s won.. you’ll get it by parts. Cause trust a big thing, so you won’t get it all right away..
I noticed I only have realistic thoughts. In a way that’s good but it’s also bad.
It made my standards to high and made me take all my achievements for granted because I believed I could do better. I put to much pressure on myself, and that has been the main reason why I could never be happy with myself because I’m constantly changing myself, rather than just accepting myself and how I am. I ignore a lot of people because I don’t want distractions, push away others because I think I can help myself, and can’t trust anyone because I believed everyone will eventually hurt me, and it made me believe the whole world was against me when really, I was against the whole world. I know I’m not the only person who goes through this but I already been through breaking points in my life and shit I’d never want to have repeated and last night was just one of those nights were my whole life just flashed through my eyes. I been focused to much on my future and what I could do with it, never realizing TODAY is what affects it, and never realizing how far I’ve already made it. 18 long years, and so much left… what can I really do with them? Nothing, cause tomorrow isn’t promised, so I’m really just going to start living today like the last and enjoying all my surroundings. If I keep living the way I was I’m sure I would make success alone but I could also, end up alone. So from now on I’m making a promise to myself to love myself first before I love others and be happy no matter what hits you because no one makes a lock without a key, that’s why God won’t give me problems without solutions.
